Punctuate Life

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Manifesting Dilemmas : Be Clear or Stay Open to Possibilities?

I have spent a few years using the law of attraction and know for sure that it works. But I have not been able to break it down to a science because it works in mysterious ways that defy definition. The first step in manifesting anything is to ask. Get really clear about what you want before you ask. Describe or visualize vivid details about the outcome. Be specific.

Another school of thought believes that we should not limit the limitless universe by giving it specific directions. Be open to receiving what you ask for or something better. So which one works you ask?

For me manifesting has been a feel your way as you go kind of experience. Some things have been easy to manifest while others felt like I was up against a wall all the time. Sometimes being specific keeps you stuck on one thing and blind to other possibilities or even to other means to reach your goal.

If you are very sure about what you want and have already done the groundwork for it, then being specific helps. If you are not really sure about what path to take and have too many factors that influence what you are trying to manifest then being open helps. It is a form of surrender. Here God or Universe, you take charge because I have tried and failed many times over and ultimately you know what is best for me.

I wanted to make a career out of writing, but it is not something you jump into and become instantly successful. Writing is one of those professions that takes time – time to get noticed, time to build an audience, time to perfect your skills. So I never really made any money out of my writing. I started my own blog and posted guest blogs. But part of me wanted to have a real job – a job that pays. So I kept applying for writing jobs with no success. I was ‘stuck’ with my one specific option for making money.

At some point frustration took over and I stopped applying for writing jobs. Still later desperation kicked in and I started applying for all kinds of jobs. I became an open vessel to whatever the Universe was going to give me. And ‘whatever’ happened to be a job at the school. It kept me busy and I still had time to write. On a whim, I started to write for content mills – don’t judge me, I had to start somewhere! I had to let my ego die again to gain experience even though the pay is something most writers would frown upon. After a few months the pay is better and who knows it may become a reliable source of income for me.

So my point is this – be specific but be prepared to explore new means to your goals, even ones you may not consider. When I wanted to be paid for my writing I wanted it to show up as a 9 to 5 job, like the one I had years ago as an editor. But the Universe knew that as a mom something more flexible would suit me better. Something that could be done from the comfort of my home, with my kids doing homework in the background. Maybe 10 years ago a 9 to 5 job would have suited me fine. But now my circumstances have changed and so have my priorities. Kids, home and family take priority. Cooking a fresh meal takes precedence over deadlines. So the Universe gave me a job at the school so I could come back home with the kids. Our vacations overlap and I don’t need to put them in summer or winter camps.

In the end, I guess the Universe knows best. Accept what shows up or that which is obvious, instead of being stuck and it will take you places you never knew you could go. Success isn’t a destination. It is a constantly evolving path with milestones littered along the way. Wishing all of you reading this, success is manifesting your most cherished dreams. Thank you for your continued support in 2014. Good luck and a very happy new year!


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The Forgotten Art of Simplicity

I remember a time when I hated sitting around doing nothing. My days had to be packed with things to do, places to go, people to meet or I felt like I would go crazy. And somewhere along the way I had to make peace with having too much time and too little to do. I think it happened because I left the craziness of India for the eerie quiet of an American town. Uprooted from everything familiar, I had no one to meet and not much to do as I waited for my husband to come back home from work. I slept the hot afternoons away and watched mindless TV. I imagined that my brain was slowly turning into mush. Then came motherhood with its flurry of activity. I went from super bored to super busy. My brain benefitted from the constant repetition of nursery rhymes and games.

I stayed home and took care of my kids. I did not attempt to juggle a job, kids and the home. Many thought I was incapable, dumb, just a housewife and even felt sorry for my kids who had to stay home all day with boring mama instead of getting structured instruction from a group of teachers and learning social skills which can only be taught in schools! Anyways, long story short, one day I woke up and realized doing too much is not the answer to a fulfilling life. I always had time for the kids, time to cook a delicious meal, time to chat with friends on the phone. Time to care about stuff other than deadlines, meetings, shopping, athletics and social events. Simple is how I like it and I can’t for the life of me understand why people have to do a hundred things at once and then get all stressed out. Everyone wants to squeeze as much as they can from every single minute, every single day.

Even kids have to do extracurricular activities everyday of the week so they don’t end up watching TV or playing videogames all day. My kids do stuff outside of school but I only do stuff they like and enjoy and I keep it to one or two activities. More than that and I feel like I’m spending most of my time at practices or in the car driving them to performances and games.

Around the holidays you can just feel it in the air, the hustle, the bustle, the need to get things done, to follow traditions even if you don’t feel like it. It is so much pressure to cook, decorate, buy the best gifts and entertain that many miss the joy of the season – family, togetherness, love and giving from a full heart. Most holidays started off simple but over the years we have added so many layers of fluff to it. Underneath all the fluff is the real reason to celebrate and we each have to get to the bottom of it.

Simplifying my life meant changing my career goals, working from home so I can be there when the kids get home or doing part-time jobs. My priorities made it easy for me to choose what was important for me. My husband simplified his life by avoiding commute and working from home. My friend got her mom to come help her out as she transitioned from a full-time mom to a consultant.

Simplify your life, simplify everything you do. Being is more important than doing. So be there for your loved ones this holiday season. Spend quality time with them. Say no to events you really don’t care much about but feel obliged to go to. The end of the year is a good time to review your life and see what works and what doesn’t and pruning and simplifying things so you start off the new year refreshed and happy. Let your mantra be less is more and invite peace and stillness instead of activity and busyness into your life.


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A Ray of Hope for Racial Tensions

Ferguson. The very word conjures up images of racial discrimination, violence and segregation. Images of black and white. Cops and innocents. Right and wrong. How about Los Angeles some 1800 miles to the west of Ferguson? Same story. Different names but the same drama unfolded in LA. Incidents between police officers and the public have blown out of proportion in the past. The black community does not trust the police and they are looked upon as the ‘bad guys’. Much like in the game – Grand Theft Auto.

Now what this adds up to, is a community plagued by gangs, drugs and sky-high homicide rates. Do the homicides cases get solved? No. The people refuse to co-operate with the police even if they know the truth, leaving the killer at large, smug with the knowledge that the cops can never get to him.

At some point the police force in Watts, LA decided enough is enough and came up with a unique plan to regain the trust of this community. They started a youth football team coached by LA police officers. Now don’t even for a second think that all the parents lined up to register their kids for the team. The officers had to go door to door asking if they would allow their kids to join the team. Many turned down the offer. Some reluctantly agreed but refused to leave the kids alone with the officers. Painstakingly and one by one, the parents slowly began to open up to the officers. They no longer demonized them, ignored them or stared daggers at them. Now the Watts Bears accepts players between the ages of 9 and 11. The program is free, the kids get a uniform and they are picked up in a police van. The boys have to get good grades and model good behavior at school. Using sports to reinforce good character traits and having contact with a good role model keeps this boys out of gangs. Most of the boys do not have fathers and this negatively impacts their ability to become responsible citizens.

One of the officers reminisces about finding an abandoned baby in a parking lot on a rainy night. He rescued the baby and put him up for adoption. A decade later he is coaching the very same boy who just happened to join the Watts Bears football team. Three years later the homicide rates have dropped in this neighborhood. Citizens are co-operating with the cops to solve crimes. Kids from rival gangs actually play on the same team – something that was impossible in the past.

The officers who support this program are a couple – one a black woman who grew up in Watts and the other a white man who started his career as a cop in the same neighborhood. So police cameras, guns and protests did not resolve the situation here. Interaction between the cops and community – not just when violence erupts but in a more stable environment to slowly build trust and co-operation, until both sides could see beyond the differences and see how human they were.

If this can happen in LA, the very place that was burning with fires of racial hatred and dissension in the 90s, then this can happen in Ferguson as well. We are a ‘Race of Hope’ – for every 10 people who breed hate and terror there is one person shining the light of love and compassion to bridge gulfs of separation and differences. And the number is growing and growing. I believe that one day we will look at a person and not see the color of their skin but the light of their soul in their eyes and know deep in our hearts that we are one.