Those who are devoted to Bhagavan have personally experienced some miracle or the other in their lives. I have had my fair share of miracles too. Finding Bhagavan in itself was a miracle. I had never heard of him and no one in my family knew him either. I was doing my Masters in Journalism at Madras University and it so happened that the Journalism section in the library was bang opposite the Religion and Mysticism section. One day as I browsed through the shelves of the university library, a book caught my eye. On the cover was a picture of a sage in a loin cloth stretched out on a sofa. I was drawn to Him like a magnet and checked out the book. It was titled “The Hidden Power” and both the title and the sage on the cover intrigued me. When I read the book, tears streamed down my face. Book after book I devoured and the pull only grew stronger. I read all the books on Bhagavan and felt like I had known him all my life without actually realizing it.
In fact, looking back I had seen His picture a few years prior to this but nothing earth shattering happened. My grandmother had to have surgery and was admitted in Ramana Clinic. There were pictures and calendars of Bhagavan all over the clinic and in every room because Dr. Rangabhasyam was an ardent devotee of Ramana Maharshi. Like Bhagavan used to say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear and I was not ready at that time.
Later as I read more books about Bhagavan, it became apparent that what I had experienced was not unique. Devotees in all parts of the world who had never set foot in India and had never heard of Him would see a photograph and somehow be drawn to Him like moths to a flame to be consumed in their devotion to Him.
An intense desire to visit Arunachala took over me. My dear father took me to Tiruvannamalai for the very first time in March 2002, a couple of years after I found Bhagavan. It was Shivarathri and we spent the night at the Arunachaleshwara temple. He was friends with a cop who was stationed in Tiruvannamalai and they helped us get good darshan. It’s a night I will never forget. We went to Ramanashram at 5 AM but since everything was closed and we had to catch a bus back to Chennai, we left.
After I got married and moved to the US, I looked for Ramana centers and satsangs in my area. We ended up visiting the Arunachala Ashram in New York a couple of times when we lived in Boston. The first time was a few months after my daughter was born. I met Dennis Hartel and a few devotees there. The second time we went there was after my son was born. It was April 14 so all the devotees had gathered for Bhagavan’s aradhana. We sang Arunchala aksharamanamalai but after every verse we sang the Arunachala refrain. It was a divine experience but part of me was afraid that the bhajans were taking too long and my husband would be upset that it would get too late to drive back to Boston. But he also enjoyed the singing and chanting and was energized by it.
When we were newly weds, I took a picture of Bhagavan and put it in our pooja table. There was a picture of Satya Sai Baba that was already there. My in-laws were devotees but my husband didn’t accept him as his guru. Every time I went to the pooja table I would find that he had moved Bhagavan’s picture from there. This hurt me to a great extent. I would keep putting it back only to find it gone the next day. One day I ended up writing to Dennis and told him that my husband’s behavior made me very sad. He told me that sometimes Bhagavan’s gaze is very intense and some people get affected by it. He told me to not get upset by this and to have faith that Bhagavan will take care of it. And indeed He did. At some point my husband gave up and didn’t remove the picture from the pooja table anymore.
When my son was born in 2005, I prayed that we would do angapradakshina at the Arunachaleswara temple. In 2009, we went to the temple as a family. My parents, in-laws, and my 2 kids who were 4 and 6 were with me. The priests told us that we couldn’t circumambulate the inner shrine and had to do it around the outer periphery of the temple which was quite huge.
I was a little behind and failing in strength after we had passed three-fourths of the path. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to complete the pradakshina. But when I looked up I saw a flock of parrots flying over the temple tower and suddenly I was infused with strength. As I rolled to the front of the temple and sat up, Lord Annamalai’s statue was brought out in procession right in front of us.
My son was a little sickly as a child and had to undergo surgery. After this, he became very clingy and used to cry a lot. Sometimes I did not know what to do to soothe him. One fine day, I was at my wits end and prayed to Bhagavan and started singing Aksharamanamalai to my son. He stopped crying! Every time he cried I would sing to him and that would soothe him. It reminded me of a devotee who sang Sharanagathi and water would flow from his tap. In my son’s case, Bhagavan’s song stopped the waterworks!
We moved to Florida a few years later and when my daughter was in the 3rd grade she was riding a scooter–the kind that you place one foot on and propel yourself forward with the other foot on the road. Suddenly, she lost her balance and fell on her elbow. I knew something was wrong when she said she couldn’t walk because of the pain. Thankfully, we were in the community where we lived. I left her there with her brother and went to bring the car so she didn’t have to walk home. I called my husband who was at work to let him know that she was hurt. He rushed back home and we drove to the nearest hospital.
The X-ray revealed a broken humerus and the hospital staff advised us to go to the Arnold Palmer Children’s Hospital in Orlando. I rode in the ambulance with my daughter while my husband and son followed us by car. The duty doctor looked at the X-ray and told us that it didn’t look good. She would need surgery. We were crushed and I was in tears seeing the X-ray. Her elbow was completely shattered. I prayed to Bhagavan and we called some doctor friends that we knew. The husband of the doctor showed up at the hospital and stayed with us for a while. He reassured us that the surgeon was a renowned and very accomplished pediatric orthopedic surgeon and that we were in good hands.
The next morning she was wheeled to the theater and I prayed to Bhagavan again promising that we would do Girivalam as a family if the surgery goes well. The surgeon was a gem of a person and put us at ease and told us that it was a rare fracture but he would try to hold the bones together using pins. If that was not possible he’d have to do a more complicated surgery.
Luckily, he didn’t have to do invasive surgery and was able to fix her elbow with pins and a cast. Later that day, the doctor friend came to the hospital to visit us along with another doctor she knew. She brought idlis and sambar for us for dinner. Then she pulled out a packet of vibhuti and gave it us saying it’s from Tiruvannamalai. I was moved to tears. I knew that instant that Bhagavan had heard my prayers and had sent her to reassure me that He would take care of my child. This lady lovingly applied vibhuti to my daughter’s forehead and assured me that she would be perfectly fine.
The road to recovery was not easy. The cast was really heavy for her and I had to make sure she did not sleep on that arm. But with Bhagavan’s grace, it healed and the cast came off 2 weeks earlier than the date the doctor had given us. Then it took a few weeks for her arm to regain complete mobility. Even the doctor was surprised that it healed so quickly!
A couple of years later, my daughter’s music teacher invited us for a spiritual program at her house. It was in honor of Ramana Maharshi! I took some pictures of Bhagavan and also some books with me. Since the music teacher was a devotee of Sai Baba she didn’t have any pictures of Bhagavan so the picture I brought came in handy. The doctor who had brought vibhuti from Tiruvannamalai when my daughter underwent her surgery was also a devotee of Bhagavan which I did not know up until that day!
In 2015, we were able to do Girivalam as a family. Since we started in the evening we had to finish before it got too late. My legs almost gave way in the last few kilometers. But with His grace I was able to complete it. We also climbed up the hill to visit Skandashram and Virupaksha cave. It was one of our best trips to Tiruvannamalai. We even got accommodation in the ashram guest house.
In 2016, we returned back to the US after spending a year in India. A few days after I got back, my father suffered a stroke. Thankfully, my brother was there and rushed him to the hospital on time. When he called to inform me, I broke down. I wished I was there to help but I couldn’t go. I prayed to Bhagavan yet again to save my father from the debilitating effects of a stroke. My grandfather had suffered from a stroke and I had watched him drag his feet and struggle to sign his name. This was a man who wrote beautiful letters to me regularly and walked the length and breadth of his property tending to fruit trees and exotic flowering plants. I couldn’t envision my dad lying crumpled in bed, unable to move, speak, or walk normally again.
Again, my dear Bhagavan came through and the clot dissolved and my dad walked out of the hospital as though nothing had happened. Zero damage to his muscles and organs. It was the greatest miracle I had witnessed. I promised to bring dad to Bhagavan when I was in India again.
Dad’s 70th birthday came and I went to Chennai to celebrate it with him. I was there for 2 weeks but we couldn’t make it to Tiruvannamalai. Again I visited my parents in 2020 but the pandemic struck and Ramanashram was closed for most of the year.
Unfortunately, my dear Papa passed away in 2022 and I never got a chance to take him to Tiruvannamalai like I promised Bhagavan. But I feel like Bhagavan took him quickly and didn’t make him suffer too much. Although, at that time I felt Bhagavan had not heard my prayers. Cancer is not a kind disease and within a month of his diagnosis he was gone. He was too weak for chemo or radiation and the cancer had spread aggressively to all his organs. But he was not in pain and was able to sleep soundly. I’ve heard how painful the final days can be but dad just fell on my Amma and breathed his last.
With my earthly father gone, I found myself often crying out to my heavenly father, Bhagavan. As the universal Mother it is Thy duty to dispense Thy grace and save me. Kinder indeed art Thou than one’s own mother, such is Thy love.
I was able to work from home and be with my mom for nearly half the year after my dad passed away. My brother stayed for the rest of the year. I was not in a position to bring her to the US because there was a lot of unfinished business that needed to be taken care of in Chennai. And once that was accomplished, other circumstances prevented me from bringing her to the US.
Certain changes had to happen in my living arrangements so I could bring Amma to my place. But these things take time and I worried about my mother staying all by herself in Chennai. Somehow my cousin who lost her job and was looking for work found a job in Chennai. My brother and I had encouraged her to apply for jobs in Chennai so she could stay with mom.
But part of me knew that this was only a temporary solution. My company laid off several people from my team. I was spared but I took it as a sign to look for other opportunities. After looking for several months, I found another job. This emboldened me to take the next step. Around this time I suddenly remembered that there was a satsang in Chapel Hill that I had always wanted to go to. I realized it was just 3 miles from my daughter’s apartment. I called Ranjani Ramanan and left a message but didn’t hear back immediately. When we spoke, she promised to send me an invite for the upcoming satsang. I was so looking forward to it. But she had to cancel it because she fell sick. After that I didn’t receive any invite for a couple of months.
Maybe Bhagavan is unhappy with my decision and that’s why I didn’t have the good fortune of attending the satsang, I thought. I shed a few tears thinking I was a wretched soul that couldn’t be saved. The very next day I received an invite for the satsang. My joy knew no bounds. Bhagavan in His infinite grace had decided to save me. He had never forsaken me. It was my silly mind playing tricks on me.
Meeting Bhagavan’s people is always such a joy and Ranjani and her mother made me feel so much at home. I felt like I’ve always known them. I left wanting to experience more of this and thanked Bhagavan for giving me this blessing just when I needed it the most.
I decided to look for a place in Chapel Hill so I could be close to my daughter and also not too far from Ranjani’s place. But no luck. I ended up finding a place in Cary. A week before I was supposed to leave, Ranjani dropped by and gave me a book (Kunju Swami’s reminiscences of Bhagavan) which I had asked her to pick up from DC. But she also gave me a picture of Bhagavan and Arunchala hill and a calendar full of His photographs. She also brought me some kitchen stuff that I could use. While leaving she offered her car to help me move. I was tearing up since I didn’t have a picture of Bhagavan with me for my new place and somehow He made sure I got one. His grace never fails to amaze me!
I don’t know too many people in Cary so I anticipated being lonely after the move. But another acquaintance I had met just once reached out before I moved and offered to help. She showed up on the day I moved and we went out for dinner together. After that she helped me get some essential stuff for the house. As we left the house, it started pouring down and we entered the restaurant wet. When we came out, the sun was peeping out. After we finished shopping we saw a huge rainbow as we were driving back to my place. What a blessed day it was!
A week later I borrowed Ranjani’s car and went to meet my new friend G. She got into the car and immediately noticed the picture of Ramana Maharshi on the dashboard.
“My mother has the same picture in her pooja room,” she said.
I was shocked! Bhagavan had sent her also to help me but I had no idea up until that moment. Everywhere I look, I only find His grace. I don’t know what good deeds I have done in my past lives to accomplish this. It’s my only prayer that I know Him and remain devoted to Him no matter how many more births I may take.
The reason I’m sharing all this is to benefit anyone who may think that Bhagavan’s miracles were only for some special people who were in direct contact with Him. But His grace has no limits and reaches far and wide. He is a steady presence in the lives of those who have surrendered to Him and works in His mysterious ways. Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya!
Punctuate Life 