Punctuate Life

Pause Breathe Relax

Getting, Giving and Receiving

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The world teaches you to get rather than give in order to ‘get ahead’ and be successful. How can you give unless you have enough for yourself right? Only billionaires can be truly generous you say. Let them give. I don’t have enough to give. I need more for myself. If you are always looking  at what is lacking in your life and always looking to get rather than give, then chances are you are unhappy, unfulfilled and don’t have enough. More, more, more is your mantra. You only see yourself and your unfulfilled needs, desires and aspirations. There are no others. And if there are, they jolly well wait. Yours is a bottomless well that will never fill up. Never overflow.

Then you have the givers. They love to give, love to please. They give their time, money, resources to others. They give too much and are offended if they are compensated in some way. They don’t even like being thanked. I am guilty of this kind of behavior and I can safely say most women fall into this category. The loving, nurturing and caring feminine self sometimes forgets to love, nurture and care for itself.

The mistake I made was thinking that I was a bottomless well that would never run dry. Wrong! I did run dry. And did I stop giving? No! I gave and gave and gave till it hurt. I gave till I became resentful. Compromised my own happiness and thought I was some sort of martyr. It’s hard to break this cycle because you don’t see the damage you are doing to yourself. You only see others. It’s as if ‘you’ don’t exist.

It takes a really good friend to shake you up out of your vicious cycle of hurtful giving. Or as in my case a really good book. I realized it didn’t feel good to give anymore because I felt I didn’t have enough. And for a while I became a go-getter. Looking only to my own needs. But as you saw earlier that is a vicious needy cycle of just me, me and more me. But I guess I had to be in that cycle long enough to fill the well till it brimeth over. I think I stayed longer than necessary. How did I know? I had lost the flow (and lost her marbles, you must be thinking. What on earth is she talking about??!!)

To understand what I am talking about I’m going to introduce you to the amazing concept of receiving. Receiving is a very different energy compared to getting. Getting or taking is a struggle. Things you want don’t flow to you. You have to fight for it, work hard for it. Take it forcibily and make it your own. But receiving is the consequence of giving. As you give you will receive. It’s a law as sure as gravity. Works whether you believe in it or not. But you have to be open to receiving. It will show up in many disguises. Not at all like you imagined. A kind word, a thank you, a gift, a card, something bigger and better than what you wanted. Receiving is also the act of accepting the gifts that flow into your life. Feeling worthy of them.

All you givers out there, accept praise, accept a compliment (took me ages to do that!), accept a simple thank you. Accept help. Givers are guilty of trying to be a one man army. They want to help but never like to ask or receive help. To balance you out and let life flow, you must give and receive. Don’t wait till your well runs dry.

To all you go getters…Pause. Look around you. See the others. Others who are worse off and feel content with what you have. Balance your life by giving to a cause (not just as a one time token effort!) and then see how your life opens up. How things you always struggled to get, just show up at your doorstep. And that’s when your life flows with a perfect balance of giving and receiving.

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