The End of a Lazy Summer

I am ready to throw a tantrum. Summer is over. Kids are back in school. I’m still home and unemployed. Feels like I just retreated back into my shell. The kids didn’t complain though. They got up at 6.30 instead of 8.30 like it was the most natural thing to do!

But every year I’m miserable when the kids go back to school. I’m antsy, bored and feel like I have too much time on my hands. It’s not like I haven’t looked for work. I have. All summer long. But I haven’t got a single call or an interview.

Sometimes it makes me doubt my faith. If God knows I want something and can hear my prayers why doesn’t he give me what I want? Like a child asking its parent over and over again, I keep beseeching this God in a faraway place. But he keeps me right where I am. Why would a parent deny their child something? Why?

I had to put myself in a parent’s shoes to answer this mindboggling question. As a mom I find myself saying no to my kids several times. If my children want something but I see it as a distraction or a clash of values I end up saying no. Do my kids understand? Do they think I’m being fair? Maybe not. Do they give up on me? Absolutely not! And so it is with God.

We came here to learn, grow and evolve. We made arrangements, chose our environments, our paths, our families and even our obstacles. Of course we fall into deep amnesia once we are born into this world. We bumble around like babies, falling and making mistakes, totally oblivious to our true calling which can be heard in the whispers of our soul. We go down winding paths leading to nowhere. We strive and struggle, pray and fast to achieve something that is not in our destiny. Something we never signed up for. Maybe not getting what we want is God’s way of nudging us closer to what we really want but cannot put into words as we continue living a dream.

When following the course of a religion (or anything for that matter) over many centuries it becomes obvious that good times and bad times come and go in waves. Temples are built and civilizations flourish for many years and then one day everything burns down and something new takes its place. Yet we place so much importance on acquiring transient things like money, property and fame. None of these are lasting. None of them can give us lasting happiness.

I need something to do to keep me occupied. You need money to pay the bills. Somebody else needs a place to call home. But if my entire existence is focused on getting a job and a job that ‘I’ think is good enough for me then it consumes me and I end up miserable. So it is with money or trying to get a bigger or better place to live. I read somewhere that pain is inevitable but suffering we create.

God does not make us suffer by denying us what we ask for. We reject the gifts we have because we think they are not good enough and we need more of this or less of that to be happier. And when we don’t get it we allow our minds to lead us into suffering. Sometimes getting what you want may not be a good thing after all. For instance, I wanted to move to Florida for the weather. To enjoy good weather we gave up our spacious home and lovely neighbors. Good weather with no friends to enjoy it with was no fun at all. Now in Seattle I’m tempted to make the same mistake. The house is too small. The weather is gloomy. I don’t have a job!

But we’re on the ground floor with a playground for the kids. We have good neighbors who will chase the winter blues away! I can always volunteer in my kids’ school. You can’t change what is but you can change your attitude to it. Then every thing becomes a gift. Even the darkest winter becomes bearable. Years become days and life flows effortlessly. God doesn’t give you exactly what you want but he provides the best circumstances for your life to flourish.

10 thoughts on “The End of a Lazy Summer

  1. I truly enjoyed reading your post. I think the day we accept that God knows best what road we have to travel to achieve our purpose, is the day we find contentment and our reason for being.

  2. Hello

    I really enjoyed reading this.
    I agree with all you said. Sometimes we are continuously emphasizing to get something that we feel good for us or we need at the moment but God knows best and He gives us right and right time , He knows what is best for us that can help us in future too.
    We must ask from Him and have a trust that we will get that will be in our best interests. I loved your example , parents say no to kids .. surly because of some reason.
    This is what we must understand.

  3. Perhaps that is true…that you aren’t getting what you think you want, because maybe what you need isn’t the same as what you want. Though faith is always a good thing to maintain, nonetheless.

  4. Always good to put yourself in the others shoes when attempting to understand their perspective on a given situation. As you did with this, and it helped.

  5. I really enjoyable post. When we are able to find our purpose and the road we are intended to travel, we will discover our true purpose. When that happens, there is peace that accompanies that. A contentment with where we are in life is present, along with an understanding for our reason for being. Just my thoughts. 🙂

  6. Excellent post. I too am going through something right now. I have questioned my faith as well. This post along with friends is helping me realize that the right thing will come at the right time. The right time may not be the time that you want but it is the time that God sees fit.

  7. love this honest antsy rant …. if one can call it that …. but i use the term endearingly …. u are so right when u say that what we often want is not what is best for us …. all of us need to learn this the hard way ….

    incidentally, love the caption too 🙂

  8. Wanted that new office building so badly – it was so ideal too. Then suddenly Government announced a flyover right across the frontage, the intended ‘owner’ of the property left for Scotland – so the factors affecting the entire property changed overnight. So maybe losing it was for the better but we did not know then; now by hindsight.

    The owner messaged me thus, his regrets: ‘Sometimes fate is more powerful than us”

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