Finding a Long Lost Love…

I met my soul sister when I was living the best years of my life. I had just graduated, landed a job without even trying, and engaged to be married to the most charming man who is the love of my life. We worked for the same company and she lived just yards away from my grandmother’s house. We used to walk or take a bus back home. I have fond memories of those days and the way she was always so tuned to my energy and emotions. But I knew those carefree days spent sharing chocolates and life would soon come to an end. I knew I had to move halfway across the globe after I got married.

Thank God for e-mail and chat and VOIP phones! We would be in touch, I thought. I was wrong! I met her one last time on my wedding day and then I flew to the U.S. I didn’t realize that would be the last time I saw her or heard from her in a long long time. She quit her job, moved and stopped using her e-mail account. The e-mails I sent her bounced back. Former colleagues had no clue as to where she might be. I was crushed. Although I had known her only for a few months we had connected at a very deep level. Like a soul connection. So I never gave up looking for her.

When Orkut came along I spent an insane number of days and hours searching for her. Peering at countless tiny pictures and profiles hoping to see her face. But I got nothing. Years went by but I still knew in my heart that I’d find her. So when Facebook was born the search began all over again. The search for a friend like no other. Again no trace of her.

Then one day after I had moved to Florida and got my license and started believing in miracles I searched for her. And there she was photo and all. I was thrilled to bits! I found her! I found her! I finally found her! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  I messaged her, quite unsure if she would remember me. But she did. I guess having a rare name helps! And this is the part I never expected. She was equally thrilled to get back in touch. After all these years! Imagine if after years of searching and finding someone, you got a lukewarm reaction. Oh Hi…Nice to see you too. Thank God that didn’t happen to me.

And then it got me wondering why did I find her when I found her. Why not before? Why not later? Why ever? I couldn’t answer that for a long time. But one day I stumbled upon it. I wasn’t the person she knew years ago. Marriage, kids. life itself had made me weary, unhappy. She never would have connected with me in those years when I was still finding myself. She knew the bubbly, giggly girl who was on cloud nine, with the whole world at her feet and her whole life ahead of her. She never would have recognized the dull, dreary, sleep deprived, stay-at-home mom I had been for many years.

But the moment I shifted into a state of contentment, fully aware of my power, taking my life by the reins instead of being a piece of driftwood, I was able to find her. And I found her at the right time. They say a friend is someone who knows the melody of your heart and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. I had forgotten. Forgotten my own strength, the beauty of my being, how much I mattered. She gently, yet firmly reminded me. She tore down my wall of excuses and exposed me to the reality of who I am. I owe my writing to her. The joy and gratitude I feel overwhelms me. The creative block I had for years melted with her encouragement and her undying faith in me pulled out the stopper and now I’m free and my creativity flows and flows and flows. Thank you N.G. Thank you for everything!

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