Ever heard of clingy Cancerians? Well, I’m one of them although I’m loath to admit it. I even go around advising others to let go! But Life caught up with me one day and shook its finger at me. And I had to admit that I was far from walking the talk, practising what I preach.I did not see the log in my eye but most definitely noticed the speck in my brothers’ eyes!
You see ever since I moved to Florida, one area of my life has been bleak, stagnant, with not much action going on. Now before you get the wrong picture, I’m talking about making friends. I know it takes time to make friends but when I realized it had almost been three years since I moved, I knew something was wrong. I hung onto my old friends from Boston for too long – still hanging on a little maybe. So all the people I met didn’t have space to enter into my life. I did not know this then and so I kept wondering what is wrong with me? But you know me and how much I love positive thinking. So I turned it around and said nothing is wrong with me. Damayanti, you are wonderful and beautiful and friendly. Something is wrong with the other folks! And so it was. End result? No friends and a nagging doubt if my theory had any truth to it.
Then after trying very hard to socialize and meeting with almost zero success, I gave up. I just withdrew. Enough is enough. It’s better to be lonely than in the midst of bad company. Now there was nothing wrong with these people. Just that we did not have anything in common. And then the most magical thing happened. S moved to our community and we became friends. Our boys played together while we happily chatted away. She loves to cook and eat and share recipes (foodie is on the top of my friend list!). What’s more, she follows my blog and gives me instant reviews without me even asking! Now if only S would have a baby girl. No scratch that. If only she had a 9 year old girl to play with my daughter!
I really didn’t know what I did to invite such wonderful friends into my life and again the answer came in a book. Henrietta Anne Klauser says that you must let go of old clothes in your closet to make room for new ones. She however hated the idea of having to give something in order to get something. I on the other hand have no trouble letting go of things that have served their purpose, but people, especially friends are hard to let go. I’m a new-friends-are-silver-old-friends-are-gold type of person. I have to be really miserable with someone to actually let go!
Like an epiphany the same idea showed up in another book – this time fiction. In the “Peach Keeper” one of the characters lived in a big house all by himself. His girlfriend thought he didn’t need such a big place. To which he replied – Everyone needs space to let something good come in. That somehow struck a chord with me. I had withdrawn from all the wrong kind of people and made room for the right kind of people to enter my life.
The same idea is conveyed in the book “The Secret”. There was this single woman looking for love. She did all the right affirmations, used positive thinking, visualized having her soul mate in her life. But nothing happened. That’s when she realized she had no room in her home for her soul mate. She started making room in her closet, in her garage and even slept on one side of her bed. And guess what? A few weeks later he waltzed into her life.
So if something hasn’t showed up in your life, start letting go. It could be physical stuff or emotional stuff. Sometimes even people. Whatever is not working in your life right now – let it go. Make space. Make space for something good to come into your life. Then trust that the Universe will deliver what you have asked for or something better.
You don’t need to hold onto the bad job or bad relationship thinking “if not this then what?” The fear of not getting another job or not wanting to live alone keeps you stuck in that bad situation. So let go and allow your highest good to enter into your life.