The other day my husband remarked, “Of late you’ve become so bossy.” I told him I was tired of being nice because I never got anything I wanted. The kids keep telling me to stop yelling and I’m like if I ask you nicely you just don’t do it, so I have to yell to get you guys to listen to me. I’m just sick and tired of us women being told to be nice and quiet while every Tom, Dick and Harry steamrolls over us and hands us a cartload of patriarchal nonsense.
I stopped caring about what people thought about me and started thinking about me and what I need to be happy. I think it’s called taking charge, being in control. If you find me loud and obnoxious – I don’t care. Just like you didn’t care about anything I wanted or expected out of you!
When men do it, they are applauded for strength of character and leadership skills and when women so much as raise their voice they are bossy, intimidating and unlikeable. Well sorry! We’re done with the all cute and cuddly purring kitten types that are dripping honey and hanging on your every word. You stepped on our tails more than once and we’re lashing out with our teeth and claws.
You wax eloquent about your stressful day and how much you have accomplished while we straddle corporate careers and motherhood, cooking gourmet meals and coding and so much more that your testosterone-filled veins can handle for a day. And yet WE are the fairer sex? The weaker ones needing your patronage and protection? Why don’t you hulks try birthing a child or nursing twins or even trying to fend off nausea for a week. Or maybe try, just try to make dinner every night after work.
So if I yell when I come home and the entire kitchen island is filled with everything you ate from breakfast cereal to tortilla chip crumbs and the sink is overflowing with dishes, its because I just finished my day job where I get paid and appreciated and now I’m at my second job that is thankless with no pay.
I don’t like microwave meals myself or I would have abandoned kitchen duties the day I started working full-time. Or stopped packing lunches for the kids and asked them to make do with the gross school cafeteria food. And with cooking comes mountains of dishes. I’m thankful for the dishwasher but unfortunately it doesn’t load itself. I don’t think it will kill anyone if they loaded the dishwasher every night after I was done making dinner. Again everyone would rather I do it, till I make a scene and ask the kids to do their chores.
Then again why is dinner my responsibility ALWAYS! Why do chores have to be gender based? All of this churns through my psyche and makes me yell every once in a while. You have a choice to not cook or clean and I don’t? That really makes me yell dude! And since it’s my kitchen, it’s MY RULES. Obey or be prepared to be shredded to fine saw dust.
And you can shove that unsolicited advice you know where! If you aint helping, I don’t need your suggestions for improvement. I’ve been doing this for 15 years and I think I qualify as an expert! So there you go. I’m bossy and unapologetic. They may promote me to a manager at work for my much sought after leadership skills!
6 thoughts on “So I’m Bossy Now”
Whoa dums! This is the most unleashed I’ve ever seen you be! It’s awesome!
Unleashed? LOL! I unleash myself pretty often these days. It’s hard trying to do it all, 24/7!
awesome article. I loved the line, ‘why chores have to be gender based?’
Thanks Roohe for stopping by and commenting.
How do you always manage to echo whats on my head? 🙂 You are simply amazing Dums. However much you rant, the reality is, as much as we want, the world is never ever fair to us. These days, I do what is necessary and frankly tell my kids and my husband if they ever want a home, they better move their bottoms else, the live in the dungeon that they see. They saw their mom not budging to their pleas after 3 days and finally things started improving and yes, there are times, where we surely do come down, but being firm on our expectations makes things more tolerable. These days, the typical manager that I am, I have laid out very clear job description to all at home with regards to what is the expectation, what is over and beyond the call of their duties and what kind of back up is expected when one is not able to deliver due to emergencies (sort of contingency plans). Its tough in the initial days but trust me, it works (atleast partially 🙂 )
Love it Hema. Yeah I just don’t push myself to be perfect anymore and juggle 1001 things.