I have a one-way ticket home,
No clue where I’ll go from there,
Definitions of home are blurry right now,
Is it the place you share with people you care for?
Or is it the place where all the people who care for you live?
I’ve been cut loose after being anchored for so long.
Maybe drifting is in order now,
After years of digging my heels and growing roots in quicksand,
I didn’t know I was choosing to drown.
Now I’m thrashing around gasping for air,
If only I could relax and go with the flow,
Go wherever the current will take me.
I feel an invisible hand bending the waves and exposing deep perils,
Gently tossing me against rocks when I can go no more,
At times I surrender to this and feel the peace wash over me,
And sometimes I let my delirious mind spin tales of horror and despair.
Yet again I find myself struggling to keep my head above the water,
I let the heavy thoughts drag me down until I can breathe no more,
And just when my lungs feel like they would burst,
There it is again,
A light hovering above the water, beckoning,
As I look at it, it draws me towards it,
It’s pull is undeniably magnetic.
I emerge out of the water sputtering,
The light flits away and disappears,
I search in the distance hither and thither,
Looking for this unspeakable miracle light,
But fail to find it.
It has done its job,
I’m above the water and breathing,
It will be back again in some other form,
When the weight of the world threatens to submerge me,
Until then I will be driftwood and allow myself to be led,